Diary of a Samson

(If you would like to start my journey from the beginning, please scroll all the way down this blog page)

February 21, 2022

Dear Doggy Diary,

Lambchop and I were getting along just fine, we really bonded. But…

…then we got into an argument…

Decapitated. I tried to put her back together. Fail.

February 8, 2022

Dear Doggy Diary,

Today was a great day! I had so much fun! I don’t know what I did but Dad and Mum sure were really happy with me today! First! Dad made me a special breakfast of scrambled eggs, cheese, (which I already get once in awhile) but then he added turkey bacon, and tuna! It was quite the feast to say the least.

Then, Dad took me for a morning walk around the block. Then Mum gave me extra kisses and hugs! and I got a bone to chew on in my yard! She left to go somewhere and when she came back, she brought me a whole bag of treats, and she brought home a new friend for me…a REAL NEW FRIEND this time. Her name is Lambchop.

I ripped her tongue out, I don’t know …my instincts got the best of me. : (

Lambchop and I

But then we were friends. Then Mum and Dad put something weird on my head, put a cookie in front of me with heat coming from it which I didn’t like. They started singing strange, and acting all giddy…I got a little worried cause it wasn’t normal for them, but they weren’t the type to do drugs or anything troubling like that so…I stayed still.

You probably can’t notice in the photo, but I was really nervous. After they got rid of the fire and gave me a piece of the cookie, it was not bad. Oh and finally took that head thing that didn’t feel right off, and I was able to go outside and play with Lambchop and guard my precious bone.

At the end of the day, I was sooo tired that I passed out in a deep sleep. So much excitement really wears a dog out. Boy, do I feel older for some reason today.

January 13, 2022

Dear Doggy Diary,

We got a new friend.

Not much of a friend if you ask me.

Last spring we went on a road trip and I had a good time. It was short so I didn’t miss my yard too much!

When we got home Mum started trying to feed me some pills hidden inside my food, but look at what I did, I out smarted her! I ate everything EXCEPT the damn pill. I picked it out and put it right there so show her that she can’t fool me!

Dad was working out of town so mum took me to a place that dad likes to go fishing at. Her aunt and uncle was there camping with their puppy (This annoying girl with too much energy). At first I had a lot of fun wading into the water, running in the sand, sniffing all sorts of stuff.

Then, the girl puppy was trying to jump all over me and I had to put her in her place! but she just didn’t get the hint! Women!. So I just wanted to be left alone. I even tried to hide.

And then Christmas came…

December 5, 2020

Dear Doggy Diary, 

This winter has not been a winter at all. It has been really warm for winter that my fur is confused and thinks its spring. The up side to it? Mum takes me for walks to my favourite trails!

The down side? Sometimes she makes me jog! and when that’s the case, she won’t let me stop and sniff pee! It’s like she’s on a mission and won’t stop unless she runs out of breath, or I have to poop. It is not fun, I get tired. Then my whole day is ruined because by the time I get home, I can’t even do my job protecting the property because I’m too exhausted to! And I know she knows this but she should’ve gotten a german shepherd if she wanted to make running a regular endeavour.

November 18, 2020

Dear Doggy Diary, 

In the fall, Mum worked so very hard for me in the yard. She was huffing, and puffing, and sweatin’ and I even heard her cursing under her breath at times. Gathering all the fallen leaves (We have around 50 trees) she was raking them into piles. At first I thought she was making a play mound for me so I got excited and started running thru them!! Spinning and kicking the leaves up in the air! So much fun! But then…I heard her yell something in a language I couldn’t understand. She looked angry at me, and started raking up the leaves again cursing under her breath. So I figured out that, it wasn’t for me to play in. So I went back to playing with my stuffed toy.

Then when she was done, I understood. She was making me a comfy bed! Now I get why she was so mad when I ran through it. She was just looking out for me.

But then, not too long after, it was all gone. So I guess it wasn’t for me, hmph. Not long after that, we noticed a squirrel had moved into the property. We call him ‘Squirly Charlie’ and he as been storing crab apples up in our trees all around the perimeter. I tried to play with him but he is too fast. So the days have been uneventful lately…

Then snow!! It’s winter. I can’t wait till this year is over.

October 12, 2020 Roadtrip!!

Dear Doggy Diary, 

One day, I saw a suitcase, cooler, and some other bags in the boot room. Mum was putting things into each of them. Is she leaving me and going somewhere? I thought. But then! I smelled my raincoat in one of the bags, then I saw her grab my pillow and put it in the car and it clicked…ROADTRIP. I didn’t know where we were going and I felt a little unsure. Should I be excited? or worried...

The next morning, she got up really early (She is not a morning person) and rushed me with breakfast and after my poop, rushed me into the car. Where are we going? we drove forever! hours and hours i think, I can’t tell time but the sun was setting when we arrived at a hotel. The hotel staff was really nice to me and mum, they upgraded our room to an executive suite (whatever that means) and gave me a doggie bag of treats!

The next morning, we headed off on the road again for hours but not as long this time. We got to a strange place, a little house, Mum brought me inside this little house and I was very weary, very cautious and a little nervous, but then! I smelled something! That smell…sniff sniff…its familiar…sniff sniff…very familiar…it’s Dad!! Dads here! But where is he? I start looking for him sniffing his scent here and there and on the chair. But no Dad. Mum brings in the rest of the stuff. A little time later, she says we are going out for a walk. I hear a truck, look up, its red! its Dad! he gets out and I run to him! I was so happy to find him. What a nice surprise from Mum. We had an adventure together. We went to a cabin, a lake, fishing, and exploring.

I had a good time! but the only thing was, there was no yard there. I missed my yard. There was a field there but I wasn’t allowed to be out there unsupervised. I got really homesick and Mum did too.

So we left and took the loooong drive back without stopping at a hotel for a night. Boy was I sure happy to get back and see my yard again! I was ecstatic!

August 12, 2020 Helping Mum with Gardening

Dear Doggy Diary, 

I decided to help Mum with gardening since she has been working so hard in the yard each summer. She has invested so much money and time into our yard digging, planting, pruning, landscape designing, and getting eaten alive by those pesky little ‘squitos! SO! I wanted to help ease her pain. What did I do? I dug for her! I dug and dug but then, I smelled something interesting…and…instincts told me to ROLL in it. It had just rained a lot earlier so makes it easy to dig in the wet ground but it brings the smell out in a lot of things. Anyway, I’ve finished my work and went into the house all proud of myself. Then I heard a ‘GASP’ from Mum and she was staring at me mouth open. She didn’t look too proud of me. She pointed her phone at me and asked me what I did…I don’t get it. She took pictures, she knows I hate pictures! That’s the last time I’m helping her!

June 21, 2020 ENEMY NUMBER 1

Dear Doggy Diary, 

(Ominous music) “ dum da dum…” MAGPIE!!! 

Ok mum, I’ll stay inside for a little bit. But just for a bit. I’m watching out the window. I’m not done with my bone yet and I’ve gotta protect it. 

You just never know when a no good for nothing something might just sniff out a good meaty bone that doesn’t belong to them, and then decide to make the FATAL choice of sneaking into my yard to try and steal it for themselves, those evil bast…Oh! Oh! I see something! No! 

Oh! (Low grumble) I see you bird!!! Damn bird better keep on flying! No, no, don’t you even think about it. Grooowwwl….huff…huff…woof! Don’t even dare, you hear me!? DON’T EVEN….WHAT THE WOOF!!!???

What kind of a bird are you?? How DARE YOU!! Woof woof woof! Huff huff (Breathing heavy) Get away from it! Fly away now! Why you little… Mum! Let me out! NOW!!! (Flies off deck) Woof woof woof woof woof! Growl,  snarl, woof woof woof! (Magpie freaks, gone)

(Note to Self: NEVER listen to mum when she tells me to come inside for a jerky when I’ve got a bone in the yard. Samson, what were you thinking? Pffftt).

June 10, 2020ENEMY NUMBER 2

Dear Doggy Diary,

When is the rain going to stop?

Growl. I hate when it rains. I’m stuck inside for most of the day. I don’t get a bone to chew on outside. I’ve succumbed to complacency.


Why does it have to rain so much? Then my belly gets itchy from all the moisture and I can’t stop scratching. I thought winter was pretty bad, but this is ridiculous! Give a dog a bone here! Grumble…oh! I get to go outside?

Ahh! Forget it! It’s not worth it.

Finally! I get to go fishing with dad! Woofy! It’s about time!



I’m the king of the boat!!

May 9, 2020

Dear Doggy Diary,

We did it! That dog that showed up and didn’t leave? Well, we shipped her off! Somewhere far, far away. Road trip! I got to tag along and boy, was it a far drive. Of course that dog took MY side of the car and I was subjected to only one side. I couldn’t go between the two windows like I usually do. Luckily, we stopped for bathroom breaks and to stretch our paws. 

When we got there, the first thing we did was drop her off to her new owners! They are an older couple who looked very kind. They have a nice yard, though I don’t know what she would do with it, she doesn’t even care to play or to protect. 

I sure had fun though, smelled mountain air, and saw other creatures, some I tried to chase (Didn’t work). We stayed in a little overheated room for two nights. There was a very big lake and a sandy beach. I loved to run around there smelling all sorts of strange smells. Mum even tried to hide from me behind a tree but I found her! I even chased  her…until she tripped and fell! I immediately stopped and looked at her, she was okay, but I felt guilty so I pretended not to notice. Besides dad was there to help, but he thought it was funny and couldn’t stop laughing. Mum did not look too impressed at first, then she laughed too. 

The car ride back home was much better cause I had more room and got to lay on my side of the car, and I could choose which window to look out of this time. I really liked the exploring part, but was really glad when we got home. Why? I missed my backyard!

April 14, 2020

Dear Doggy Diary, 

THIS DOG shows up at my house…and is STILL here! Mum said she is a foster dog. At first I didn’t know what that meant, BUT, now I do. It means a dog that shows up at your house and doesn’t leave!  Oh and steals YOUR bed, gets in the way of YOUR beef jerky, poops just about anywhere, AND has NO interest in playing! I tried to be friendly and play but she is too busy doing nothing, or exploring around on her own. I don’t really mind her though. I do like her but couldn’t mum have picked a dog I can play with? She said it’s only temporary and once she finds a good home for her, then it will be back to the three Musketeers.  

Guess I’m stuck with this oldie for now. Samson

March 11, 2020

Dear Doggy Diary, 

I wish mum and dad would stop taking photos of me when I’m not at my best. It is starting to become humiliating! Besides, um…I know how it looks but uh…I’m not THAT lazy! Really… 

Dec. 12, 2019 – A Letter to Santa

Dec. 11, 2019

“Why dad”

Dec. 6, 2019

Dear Doggy Diary,

Every friday, mum comes home from work smelling like two male dogs…real stinky ones…. what gives? Does she reeeally go to work fridays? I wonder if dad suspects anything. I don’t think so. And she always acts happier than usual on fridays…hmmm…. I need to get to the bottom of this! Samson

Nov. 22, 2019

Dear Doggy Diary,

Saturday morning, mum and dad went somewhere without me. So I slept. A little later, I heard the truck. Oh good, they’re back. I looked out the window and saw mum get out but dad stayed in the truck. That’s weird, I thought. Wait a minute! I see a little head popping over the dashboard. Another dog!! They brought home another dog!!?? Mum comes in and grabs her phone and leash quickly and leaves. Oh I can smell that dog alright. All over her. Male…old…been outside for a long time. 

Dad finally comes in the house and lets me outside. I run full force to the front! Woof woof! Woof woof! Mum brings that dog to the fence. I can take him! Or, maybe he’s here to play with me. We meet and sniff. He ignores me. I want to play now, let’s play! But he wants nothing to do with me. No friend. Dad gave me a beef jerky, then he gave that ol’ dog one too! MY beef jerky that was made for ME! Oh I sure let that ol’ dog have it! No play? No jerky! Then dad gets mad at me and I get in trouble! Hmmph.

Well, turns out he was lost and mum took him to find his owners. She made some calls then took him away. I didn’t like how she was coddling him. Oh well, he was no fun anyway. Samson

Nov. 7, 2019

Dear Doggy Diary,

Sometimes when I’m outside, I pretend not to hear dad when he calls me into the house, or I pretend not to understand what he is saying. Hehe. So that he will come outside, and we can play that ‘chase me’ game. It doesn’t work with mum though. Somehow, she sees right through me, she never falls for it. Maybe it’s a mommy thing. 

Nov. 6, 2019

Dear Doggy Diary,

Last weekend, I was surprised dad came home early! I was so happy to see him! That evening, mum and dad were having dinner and it smelled so good. I went up on the couch and rested my head on it staring at dad (He’s such a sucker).

It gets him every time! he looked at me, and then picked off a piece of food from his plate and gave it to me. Mmmmm.

So, I kept staring at him, back and forth between the plate and his mouth. He said something about me drooling then he gave me another piece! This happened two more times. When mum isn’t around, he lets me lick the plate too. He always finishes eating first.

So, I got off the couch and walked over to mum. I stood there sniffing closer and closer…then, mum looks at me! Oh, I think she’s…she looks me straight in the eyes and says, “No”. Darn! Hmmmm…so I do my sit thing that she always likes, she looks at me…and shakes her head. That didn’t work. Well, I tried.